Dear Life,
I have been into squandering my time lately. [At least I cleaned my room.] College is complicated. It's not as exciting as I thought it was going to be. I'm waiting/trying to make it better. I spend half my time agonizing and the other have fucking around, and not in a fun way, in a mind-numbing unproductive way.
I miss feeling comfortable.
I miss feeling special. I think that college is turning me into mush instead of helping me grow.
Maybe I just think everything is not so good because I have a headache. Maybe I should eat something. At least I don't have to wake up as early tomorrow. I haven't done my reading.
College is bringing out all my weaknesses. My mom is involved in a business where she will lose a tremendous amount of money. I'm afraid she's spent the money she put away for my education. I think i'm going to take a walk. Did you know that they tell you not to walk around by yourself at night here? Isn't that rediculous? I think I might just do it anyway.
My roommate isn't home yet. She went to an extra help session for Bio. I want people to come and visit me.
Maybe i'll decorate my room now. It's been a month and I've put up a poster.
Maybe I'll paint my wall. My ' key doesnt <-- always work and its annoying.
Geese, my head hurts. I already took excedrin. my body can be so rediculous. I've been being so good.
I think the fact that I don't have AIM on my computer makes everything a little more silly.
I'm going to Powell House in November. (I think). It will be so relaxing.
Any scraps of help from you college people out there???? Or you confident not college people???
My life was a lot more wonderful before. I feel a little pathetic.

Crazy shit, yo....

(no subject)
Its time for an update.
I am totally exhausted. The plan is that after I post this I will take a shower and go to sleep. We'll see how that goes...
My weekend was fantastic. I can't stop smiling from the excitement of school being almost over, having a summer job and prom dress, and being crazy giddy with fatigue.
I have tons of pictures from Powell House. I wish I had the energy to post them and i'm sure you do too. Maybe.

(no subject)
i want to get out of here!

yes its true...
the Idiot Savant

(28% dark, 46% spontaneous, 57% vulgar)

your humor style:

You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards--and also the most likely to save them in a special folder entitled 'HOLY SHIT'.

Because it's so easily appreciated, and often wacky and physical, your sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. Most realize that there's a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your sense of humor could be called 'anti-pretentious'--but paradoxically enough, that indicates you're smarter than most.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Johnny Knoxville - Jimmy Kimmel

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(no subject)
thnx to those that responded to my college post. its been updated since then, but hopefully the next thing i say about colleges will be where i get in.

To my most loyal wonderful friends

Tell me what you think friends!Collapse )

(no subject)
This is so awesome. I did not even have sound, (does it have sound?) and it was still so cool. Thank you

2 hopeless poems for your enjoyment
i can hard-
ly read your letters because they provoke
waves to crash on the shores of
my heart pounding with
brilliance and warped love
i remember your softness and
destabilizing gaze
that made me forget
that a high is not


lie sleeping like corpses
bodies devoid of hope and food
my heart bleeds when i see pictures of
crying boys
and i can't imagine that this government we
live under is
anything but my worst nightmare

there are no red kings so i cannot move.


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